Stoned Secret #2

"Nature Documentaries."

Great under most circumstances (except the ones about snakes, which freak me out) they are even better after enjoying some of nature's other greenery. What could be more fitting than sitting back and marveling at the amazing world around us from the comfort of a futon?

Particular favorites beyond Planet Earth, the holy grail of nature documentaries, include:

Blue Planet (the ocean! It's weird and mysterious!)

Winged Migration

Life in the Freezer (the Arctic! It's cold and we're glad we don't live there!)

David Attenborough's Life of Birds

Anything BBC

Throwing A Party To Remember...Well, For the Most Part.

I never leave my birthday up to chance. I am on the lookout for any and every excuse to party, so when my birthday time starts to roll around, well, Carpe Natalis. (Seize the birthday? Ha. That might be right. Who knows. Or cares.) Anyway. This year was no exception to that rule. I was turning 25, and I was not about to take it sitting down. If I have to transfer to a new age box, I'm going to throw one hell of a party to ring it all in.

I would hate for this to sound at all selfish. I don't think that because it's my birthday, everyone I know has the duty and obligation to celebrate the fact I was born. For me, I just want to spend my birthday with all the people I love in one room. I don't necessarily want it to be all about me, but about everyone, having a good time and being together. Sometimes people just need an excuse to party, so I use my birthday as that excuse. This year, I cleverly schemed up what sounded like a potentially kick ass party. My past 2 years of birthdays have been exponentially awesome, and I was looking to top myself. I implored the use of the Banquet Room at the restaurant I work at, and proposed them a business deal. I pick a day the room has nothing going on, I book a bunch of bands, advertise the crap out of it, and the restaurant cashes in on my drunk friends on a night where it would have made $0 anyway. They agreed, and since my manager is the man I even got the room for free, and all door proceeds were allowed to go to the bands. I now had a place and an idea, it just all needed to come to fruition.

Thankfully, as mentioned in previous posts, all of our friends are in at least one band, so getting people to play was not difficult. I asked around, and soon I had 4 of the best bands in town all on one line up. But, something was missing. The show was going to be good, but what would make it GREAT? I began to think of that one band that could bring it all together. The one band I truly wanted to see play, but don't often get to. Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Many years ago, I had friends in a band called the American Business Machines. They were, in ever aspect of the definition, Punk Rock. They played it, and even more importantly, they lived it. Their past includes starting a full scale riot in a club (where the singer punched a bouncer, was thrown through a window, and from that night on music at that club was banned), they have thrown fried chicken at the audience, thrown their equipment at the audience, they have beaten each other up on stage, and that's just the tip of the iceberg for their career. Their fan base was out of control. These were guys that knew how to party, and I wanted them at mine. They were no longer a band, haven't been for years, but after asking them all in my sweetest voice to play a reunion show at my party, because it was just simply all I wanted for my birthday, and spending weeks egging them on, they agreed to play.

From then on it was easy. Make some awesome fliers, such as:
(Note the use of Life Magazines cut outs from the 1960's. A Stoned Soup Favorite)

Hang them around town. Talk up the show to friends, neighbors, anyone who will listen. Facebook event invites (because who isn't on that contraption now a days?).

In the end, the party was a GIANT success. All the bands played amazingly, the American Business Machines lived up their reputation (the bassist had drank so much cough syrup before the show he could barely stand up, but not ONCE did he actually stop playing because of it), tons of people showed up, nobody broke anything or got drunk enough to be thrown out, the bands got paid, the bar raked it in, and the after party was just big enough to still be a party, but small enough to not attract any unwanted attention. I couldn't have asked for better.

The topic of this blog occurred to me towards the end of the evening. Throughout the night I had many people coming up to me, congratulating me on the success of the event, asking what my secret was to throwing such great parties. As per usual, I just blushed and said something about being lucky. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it has nothing to do with luck. There are many tactics I've enacted over the years to throw a successful party (birthday or any other occasion), and I am going to share these with you today. So, without further ado:

"Throwing A Party to Remember..Well, For the Most Part."

1. "Be the kind of person people would want to celebrate with and for." This may sound weird, like I'm telling you how to live your life, but in essence this rule is very simple: Just don't be an asshole. If you're the kind of person people like, they will want to celebrate with you.The Stoned Soup Club is a strong advocate of the "treat others how they would like to be treated" way of life. Be a good person, do things to let your friends know how much they mean to you, these are the things that will later ensure that your birthday is happy and fun. Also, be a fun person to party with. Know how to handle your alcohol so that you don't get sloppy and annoying, but have the stamina to drink slowly all night and be awake as long as everyone else, if not longer. This is a finely tuned skill I minored in during college, and if you can pull it off, you'll be a hit.

2. "Think big." Always reach for the stars. Maybe your house only holds a small number of people? Then do it somewhere else! Sure, you could spend a nice quiet evening alone with a handful of your nearest and dearest, but you can do that any day of this week. This is a party! Make it one. Look to friends with bigger houses than you (in this case you MUST show up early to set up, keep an eye out during the evening for potential looters/drunk destroyers, and clean up the next day). Or look to venues you can rent out, so the cleaning and destruction is someone else's problem. Just make sure wherever you're planning has the capacity for a bigger than average get together, with extra room for people you never expected to show up, because people will certainly do that.

3. "Keep it local." Unfortunately, Northampton is a very inward-focused town. No one ever wants to leave, no matter the reason. Leaving town means driving, driving means less drinking, and overall that will not win many people over. So keep your event as local as possible to your largest base of friends, and the people will follow.

4. "Have something 'happening' at your party." It's not like people need an excuse to party, but they'd like one, and maybe it being YOUR birthday isn't quite enough. Give them a real solid reason to show up. Book bands. Organize a beer pong tournament. Play drunken laser tag. Make it a costume party and give it a theme (some personal favorites of mine from college are "Rockstars and Groupies" and "White Trash or Lotsa Cash". People can drink anywhere, at any time, but only at YOUR party will they have en excuse to dress like Zombie John Lennon while taking those tequila shots.

5. "Give people time to get excited." If you want a hype to build up around your festivities, you need to give it time for that to happen. You can't send the Facebook invite out 2 days before and expect people to show up. Start thinking about your strategy a month in advance. Once you've got a solid plan, send out invites and such 3 weeks before. 2 weeks before, you can start casually mentioning it in social situations (but don't be annoying, there is a fine line here). The week of, if the party is on a Saturday for example, start reminding people on Wednesday. The day before, talk the shit out of it. Same goes for the day of.

6. "Prepare for the worst and hope for the best." In the back of my mind, I was completely ready for the Business Machines to not show up and play. Maybe one of them gets arrested, gets lost, passes out, who knows, but all 4 of them not showing up was ALWAYS a possibility in my mind. Which is why I had my friend who was a DJ set his things up. If all the bands show up and play and he only spins for 30 minutes, so be it and we dance for 30 minutes. Should a band not make it, he can spin for an hour, and at least something will be happening. We all want our party to turn out successful. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. But at least you're prepared for every outcome.

That's about it. Stick with me, and people will be talking for days afterward about how great YOUR event was. Well, what they can remember of it anyway.

-Nikki

Ringing in the New Year Right

Every year a dear friend of the Stoned Soup Club throws a super-fun New Year's party at his apartment. Last year I got my act together to make lots of homemade macaroni and cheese...it was a prequel of what was coming in 2009 in a way. I actually have a sort of weird superstition that what you do with yourself in the first few hours of a new year sets the tone of how things are going to go. So feeding all our friends in their hour of drunken need seemed like a good way to start things off, and 2009 saw plenty more of that happen, as it were.

This year the Stoned Soup Club had grand ambitions for New Year's Eve, rumors circulated about combining 2 of our tried-and-true recipes for mac'n'cheese with veggie chili. But then life intervened and our forces were divided, some of us spent the holiday partying it up in New York City, and some of us spent most of Dec. 31st 2009 in bed (told you that statistic about apron wearing wasn't bullshit) and therefore as the party drew nearer Plan B was enacted.

Plan B:

Several ready-to-bake packages of biscuits.

Yes, at the Stoned Soup Club we are big believers in all things Homemade, Local, Delicious, and Taking The Time To Do Things Right. But at the end of the day (or year) the heart of the mission is feeding people we love and having a great time doing it, so there's really nothing better at 2 a.m. in the early glimmer of the new year than hot biscuits just out of the oven, and if they came from a cardboard tube that makes a satisfying popping sound when it explodes open, so be it.

It's an easy thing to bring to a party, and everyone will be glad you did. It's as simple as that.

Incidentally, reflecting back on 2009 and the abject failure that was my attempt at a garden (the only thing I grew successfully was kale) I decided that my energies would be better spent gathering and harvesting than cultivating, and my resolution is to take advantage of all the great farmers' markets and pick-your-own places around here as much as is possible. Looking ahead, 2010 seems like a pretty promising year.

--mac

Christmas Eve Eve

The Stoned Soup Club has hereby declared that holidays with the family are infinitely more tolerable if you've had your own made up holiday with your friends beforehand.

Cue "Christmas Eve Eve".

This holiday, it wasn't planned. On the Eve of Christmas Eve, my day started out like any other. I went to work, dealt with high school kids who were only 8 hours and counting from a 9 day vacation, sat through each class' Christmas party eating pizza and wondering why I even bothered to show up to work in the first place, and then drove home. I was most certainly in the mindset to party as I contemplated the idea of 250 hours of sleeping/smoking/video games/internet tv ahead of me, but the plans for the evening seemed mellow. mac had prepared a Nut Loaf* that was ready to be put in the oven, we were going to make some garlic mashed potatoes, and have a nice meeting with my roommate and our friend from a few blocks over. I arrive home to find my other roommate and his girlfriend home, and they are into the idea of food too. Our number jumped from 4 to 6. A little while later I received a call from my best friend, who I hadn't seen in weeks due to the complete time vacuum that is Finals. He asks what I'm doing that night, and our number moves from 6 to 7. Now I'm a bit worried that we won't have enough food, so we quickly decide to add Cauliflower Au Gratin to the menu.

This is a good tip for the veteran Stoned Souper. Always have a really easy, quick, delicious side dish or 2 you can pull out of your arsenal in a pinch. Something you've made many times before, and you know will go over well. The problem with throwing parties that include mostly people in their 20's is that you can never predict how many people are actually going to show up. You can't send out invites, whether they be of a paper or facebook nature, and expect that people will a) respond or b) honor their plans, be it yea or nay. We're a hip, on-the-move age group that can't be caught making commitments. Things happen as they happen, and quick frankly, I'm ok with that. Keeps me on my toes.

The 7 of us ate our wonderfully rib-sticking vegetarian holiday fare, as the party continued to grow. It being holiday break time, we found ourselves surprised at the people who ended up popping in. We had more than enough wine and whiskey to keep things going, so we just sat back and enjoyed the ride. Remembering a greeting I had heard earlier that day, we dubbed our holiday "Christmas Eve Eve".

I must note, as a Strange Christmas Tree Enthusiast, that I met a guy that night who said he once chopped his tree into pieces and suspended it with wires from the ceiling, upside down. He became my holiday decorating hero, and I was honored that he admired our eyeball light/drunken angel tree effort.

Our party did have some bittersweet moments. One of my roommates is moving out soon to live with his wonderful girlfriend, and as a parting gift he bought our house a dinnerware set because, oops, turns out everything was his. He will be missed, that one. I also bought our house a Mr. Beer Brewery Kit, so stay tuned for The Stoned Soup Speakeasy.

Lastly, we need to mention Frank, because well, he truly made our holiday party all that it could be. Little back story on Frank:

Recently, my grandmother passed away. The extended family decided that the weekend before Christmas we should all get together at her house and celebrate, in honor of her. A widely known fact about my grandmother was that she LOVED decorating for the holidays, and that her taste was...well...eclectic, to say the least. My Mom took on the job of decorating her house with all of her crazy Christmas crap, and before everyone went home she devised a game where everyone put their name in a hat, and made the person they picked bring home a Christmas decoration of their choice. My Mom got me, and made me take home Frank because, basically, this thing scared the crap out of me, and she knew it. As people at our shindig discovered what he could do, he instantly became a hit. We decided to include a video because, as someone to aptly put, "Pictures wouldn't do this thing justice. This is the kind of thing that needs to be experienced" So here it is, for your viewing pleasure, "Frank The Lamppost":



Get it? Because it's supposed to be Frank Sinatra? Creepy. Many jokes were made about how it was only a matter of time before I woke up in the middle of the night to find that thing lying in bed next to me.

All in all, our holiday was joyous, and made the next few days MUCH easier to handle. So the next time you find yourself up to your ears in stress from whatever holiday is giving you trouble, just take a time out and get drunk with your nearest and dearest. You'll be glad you did.

-Nikki


*Recipe featured in this meeting:

Nut Loaf

1/2 cup barley

1 pkg mushrooms

1/2 cup(ish) breadcrumbs

1/2 cup dried cranberries

1 cup walnuts, chopped

1/2 cup butternut squash (optional)

1 shallot, chopped

1 egg

olive oil

sage to taste

cook the barley by boiling it in water for about 20 minutes, then drain completely. [side note: i love barley. it comes from my time living in scotland, and i think of it as a majestic highland food that is under-appreciated in most other places in the world. I throw it into lots of things. Stay tuned for more posts about my love for this misunderstood genius of the grain world]

While barley is boiling, chop mushrooms as finely as you have patience for, using a knife and some elbow grease. I tried using a blender once and it got too mushy.

Cook chopped mushrooms in a pan with some oil, the shallot, as much sage as you like [it's one of my top favorite spices, tying with nutmeg. more on nutmeg some other time]. Once the mushrooms have cooked down (about 10 minutes) turn off heat and set aside.

In a bowl combine the drained barley, the mushrooms, walnuts, dried cranberries, and breadcrumbs, and butternut squash if you have it hanging around. Have a good time mashing it all around. Don't be afraid to use your hands. I'll just assume you washed them real good first and don't need to be told.

Add the egg, and mix well. At this point if the mixture seems too wet you can add some more breadcrumbs. You want it to be a slightly sticky consistency, but not runny. Pat the mixture into a loaf pan. You can make it in advance as I did the afternoon of Christmas Eve Eve and let it sit in the fridge until your guests are around. Bake at 350 for about 25 minutes.

Slice and serve.

Happy Holidays

I decided to become a vegetarian pretty young in life, and as a result when I learned how to cook, it was all veggie food. I was pretty psyched to forgo the carcass end of cooking, and that is all I'll say about that because this blog isn't about preaching. But the downside to this is that I come from a long line of great Italian cooks, and there are a lot of traditional recipes that have been rendered moot by my renouncing meat. Maybe that's one of the reasons I like baking so much. Sometimes you just want to make a recipe your grandma made, in the pan she made it in. (Sometimes you want to smoke a J and eat half a bowl of raw batter which is something you doubt grandma ever did, but I digress.)

These toffee squares are something we only ever made in my family at Christmas time, but they are really easy, really delicious, and yes, the pan pictured is the one that has been making these guys for generations. Sweet! Here's the recipe:

2 cups all purpose flour

1 cup brown sugar

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened

1 tsp vanilla

1 egg yolk

1/4 tsp salt

3-4 milk chocolate bars

1/2 cup chopped nuts for top (we always use walnuts)

Set oven to 350. Cream together brown sugar, butter, vanilla, and egg yolk. Add flour and salt, mix thoroughly. Mixture may appear crumbly-- don't worry. Press into a 13 x 10" baking pan, or whatever approximate size works for you. Bake for about 25 minutes, until just golden around the edges. When you remove the pan from the oven, let it sit for a moment, but before it cools too much place squares of chocolate on the top. The heat will melt them and you can spread the melted chocolate evenly with a knife. Hint: don't spread it right to the edges, it will make them harder to chip out of the pan later. Sprinkle with chopped nuts and let cool.

Check out the original recipe in grandma's handwriting. I like that

she indicates what size chocolate bar to use by noting "5 cents"

Stoned Secret #1

"Take a shower"

Turn on the water before you get in, and make it just a little hotter than you're used to.

Get in.

Enjoy.

An Ode to Aprons

I once heard a statistic that women who wear aprons have 40% more sex than women who don't. Instead of wondering where this fun fact had come from, I started thinking of possible reasons for this statistic. Theory 1 is that people who wear aprons know how to cook, and this makes them all kinds of attractive. Theory 2 is that people who wear aprons have a good sense of hygiene and aren't slobs. Theory 3 is that a well-tailored apron does great things for the waist and ooh la la (9 out of 10 French maids agree). Feel free to add your own theories to the list, but all of them add up to equal a passion for aprons, possibly fake statistics, and unproven theories.

A very important component of the Stoned Soup Club is the wearing of aprons. I like to wear them not just when cooking, but also when doing other crafty projects. It's kind of like a uniform, and helps me psychologically: when you strap on the apron, it's business time. My original apron is a sweet little number by a designer named Jessie Steele, a.k.a. the modern day apron queen. I also have love for vintage aprons, kids' aprons with robots on them, and garments that technically aren't aprons but look like them. Much of this is owed to a former place of employment, Flirt in Brooklyn NY. They design a great line of

clothing that I'm a huge fan of because it's girly and yet sturdy enough to plow a field in. They also teach classes at their sewing studio, and know what makes a great first time sewing project? An apron.

The apron pictured above I made for Nikki from a vintage pattern and some great fabric from a company I love called Repro Depot that reproduces (not repossesses) vintage fabrics.

I have to admit, the mushroom on the pocket is one of my favorite crafty accomplishments in a long time.

Whether you're a kitchen goddess, a handy lady, or a dude who isn't ashamed to tie one on, this is my call for you to reclaim the apron! According to the stats, you'll be glad you did.